Is It Enough?

This struggle is probably more common among parents than I am aware. After all, we live in a time different from when I grew up - more options and opportunities, more competition. It seems to me that our kids are adequately involved in school and social activities, and then the realization that some of their friends are much more involved, more busy, more productive (at least by some measure) begins to nag at me. Do I do enough to encourage our kids to take every opportunity, to get out there and be the best, to not let life pass them by? Anyone else feel the pressure?

This is a pressure that my kids should not feel. Kids are kids - as my older neighbor reminded me this morning when she commented that our kids are "good workers" and I pish-poshed that away by saying that at times they REALLY need to be prompted to be good workers. And I want there to be time in our family's life to teach them the importance of being a quality worker; to be dependable to our family, friends, and community and to not get wrapped up in our own activities and pursuits.

But while we have been focused on this, other children have been focusing on sports so that our ten year old cannot get into a competitive baseball league - are there any non-competitive leagues anymore? - because he hasn't been playing tee-ball since he was four. Or our eight year old is placed in a gymnastics class with pre-schoolers who have been tumbling before they could walk. Granted, these situations seem to cause more of an issue with me than my kids.

Add to this the animal of being a foster family who also deals with some special needs. This only makes our family slightly different from other families - not better, not worse, only different. The needs of some of our children makes it difficult to enroll them in "typical" activities for "typical" kids; it is also sometimes difficult to get our own "typical" kids to their activities due to the need to juggle transportation with six children - four of whom always need to tag along. Then there's the possibility of having to spend some time disciplining and processing through: who can stay home and who can't, who will sit beside whom in the car, whether or not they can bring toys and books in the car (depends on the length of the ride and the behavior of any given child), when and what they may have for a snack, and now we've got a baby's nap schedule thrown in there for good measure.

So having each of the kids involved in one extra activity keeps us busy, but as they grow and there are more options for experiences - good learning and growing experiences - the stretch becomes more pronounced. Because as they grow it also becomes more imperative that we instill those "good worker" values.

This thought all began with a comment from one of our kids. A Sunday school teacher asked the students what they liked most about their families. The answer our child gave was something like, "I like that we are a foster family because I always have new brothers and sisters."

And that's when I know that it IS enough.