Easy come...

Twenty hours. Twenty brief hours. Twenty sweet hours.

This is the shortest placement we have done, and I really didn't like it. Long enough to allow my brain to technically understand the details, but not long enough for my heart to go through the loving and leaving process.

Baby Girl was placed with us on Wednesday night at 10:15 p.m. after being discharged from the hospital earlier in the evening. She was born on Easter Sunday and so was just three days old and perfect - healthy, a good eater and sleeper, content, and pink and chubby!

An adoptive family had been identified, but due to hold-ups in the paperwork, she was not able to be placed with that family directly from the hospital, but it was anticipated that all would be in order by the next day. So the agency called us at 7:30 to ask us to care for her overnight, and a few hours later, we were happy to have Baby Girl in our home and our arms.

After an evening bottle, we settled down for the night - everyone but me. Each little squeak and yawn put me on alert, and each little stretch of quiet caused me to strain for the sound of breathing.

The 3:00 a.m. feeding was wonderful - there is no better reason to be up at that hour than to hold a warm, soft, hungry baby. After a change and some cuddles, it was right back to sleep for both of us.

Since our kids had already been in bed when Baby Girl arrived, we took some time to visit with her before school. Everyone wanted to know when she had arrived and if she would still be there after school. And since we weren't sure of the length of her stay, we lingered a bit longer in our talking and cooing over her.

Thursday morning means violin lessons before school, which depending on how the night had gone, we weren't sure we were going to brave. With a peaceful night behind us and the kids excited to show off their "new baby", we headed to school.

So, okay, it wasn't just the girls who wanted to show off the baby! Several conversations were sparked as we signed in at the office and made our way through the halls. Teachers stopped to admire and ask questions. Each time I briefly explained the situation there were reactions like: "What a sweet baby!" and "How hard that must have been for her mother." and "How will you ever let her go?" and "Your family is amazing." and "I want to do this for babies and families when I retire."

And each one of those responses gave me a chance to witness to: a) God's amazing grace in the life of this little one and the life of our family, b) the need for many more people to foster and adopt babies and children who need a safe place and loving home, c) our family is not amazing, but God is and can use ordinary families like ours in amazing ways, and d) the fact that EACH TIME a child leaves our family it is hard - not just with the healthy, sweet, pink babies - and that EACH TIME God's grace is sufficient to help us through.

Upon arriving home - just me and my little bundle - we spent the next several hours rocking in the recliner together. There were loads of laundry to be started, a dishwasher to un- and reload, dinner to be planned and maybe even prepared, phone calls to make and errands to run. But we just sat there, sometimes dozing, sometimes cooing and singing, sometimes just looking at that sweet face. And you know what, I didn't feel one bit guilty about the laundry, dishes, dinner or other stuff.

For those twenty hours I simply enjoyed this gift. She had come into my home and heart so easily and I knew that that night she would be sleeping in HER home with HER family, and that helped to make the fact that she needed to go .... just a little more easy.