In the beginning....

Stan and I married in April 1998 and in March 1999 welcomed our first born child to the family.  When Eli was 9 months old we began our foster family journey.  So he knows nothing other than this way of life; the same goes for our other four 'permanent' kids.

We've been doing this foster care thing for twelve years.  Some days that's a long time and others, a small drop in a big bucket.  Some placements we struggled through and others were a breeze.  Some caseworkers make things so much smoother and easier, and others...  Some birth families are amazing and just need that extra support, and others just leave us with hearts broken and heads shaking.

The title of the blog comes out of a little family joke that started soon after we began to foster parent. When called with a placement, we usually had anywhere between several minutes to several hours to prepare the house, the kids, and dinner.  I found it very easy to throw together a pot of spaghetti on short notice; and as we went along, I also found some other things about spaghetti to be true:

1. Most kids (not all, but MOST) are familiar with spaghetti, so hopefully the first meal is not too intimidating.

2. There are choices to be offered when serving spaghetti: with sauce or without, with cheese on top or not, eaten cut up with a spoon or twirled on a fork.  Many of the kids that come into placement feel like they have little control over what is happening to them and their family, some small choices up front give a bit of hope.

3.  Spaghetti is filling.  Some of the kids may not have eaten recently, or may be too upset to eat much when they arrive.  Even a little is a bit comforting.

4.  It works for any age.  I've had an older child get involved in the preparation and older children enjoy the fun of twirling the pasta; and it can be cut up so even the little ones can manage to get some on a spoon.

So, when a call comes in during the day and I haven't been able to reach Stan by phone before he walks in the door, chances are good that if he smells spaghetti he knows that means we have a guest for dinner.  And so the name of the blog.