And I Never Will

Last night there was a third family planning meeting for LS; that's two too many, at least in the opinion of most of those in attendance. The discussion centered on the fact that we've all lived through nine months of a foster care placement that doesn't have to be.

At two months in, her birth dad was identified as a reunification resource and had only a few very simple steps to take in order to have LS move home with his family. Those few simple steps have yet to be completed.

And I just don't understand.

Why it took four months to provide a copy of the lease to Children and Youth? Housing and employment are usually huge hurdles as parents work to get their children back. Not in this case. Rather the "hurdle" was that the lease is printed on legal size paper, and the printer doesn't accommodate that size. 

Why there were missed visits with LS when a social worker practically delivered her to your backyard? Reasons were readily given: traffic, a car fire, unable to call to adjust the visit time because phone was out of range.

Why phone calls from the social worker weren't returned to schedule a time to have the house inspected which would allow for unsupervised home visits? Only when cornered by family members during the second family meeting, after two weeks worth of waiting, was an inspection appointment scheduled.

Why when given the go-ahead to visit with LS that very weekend, there was not a phone call for nearly two weeks? "The foster family was out of town" -- true, and reachable by the e-mail and cell phone contact information that was provided. "I left a message" -- true, to ask to speak with LS and not to schedule a visit; not to mention that the message was left with less than twenty-four hours notice of when a visit would need to occur.

Why LS only had visits on two out of five weekends? Excuses ranged from ill health, to faulty phone service, to leaving a message on Friday night for a Saturday visit, to blaming LS for hanging up the phone too quickly and before arrangements could be made. Never once was there a call back after phone service improved or to follow up on a quick hang up.

Here are other things I don't understand:

Why, when given our phone number, it took six months for you to call LS and then only after prompted by the social workers.

Why you don't call LS every day, multiple times a day. Were our roles reversed, I can only imagine that I'd be on the phone with my child when she woke up, got home from school, finished homework, and before bedtime EVERY DAY. Someone would have to tell me to STOP calling... not prompt me to start.

How you can stand to be away from you daughter, when she could and should be home with you right now is something I cannot understand; have not understood with any other birth parents... and I never will.