Honestly

With six kids in the house there's lots of stuff. Stuff that belongs to someone else. Stuff that you shouldn't touch unless it belongs to you. At least that's how we roll, it just seems to simplify life a little.

Last week one of the kids brought to our attention that someone's stuff had been touched, in fact, taken and used. Since it's a given that we don't tolerate lying - which includes stealing (which equals taking something that doesn't belong to you)  - we expected the guilty party to come clean rather quickly.

That being a faulty assumption, we progressed to a family pow-wow around the table where they were subjected to a lecture about how our home needs to be a safe and secure place, that this is the training ground for "real life", and reminders that God has called us to live a life set apart and holy - to follow Jesus' example of a life of integrity. At least that's what I heard and hope came across to the kids in such a way as to compel someone to confess.

That hope was dashed as a trip around the table yielded no information, just a bit of blame-throwing.

It was close to bedtime for the younger set, so we sent everyone to their rooms for the rest of the evening with the charge to think and pray about the situation, and encouragement to answer honestly in the morning.

After lunch on Sunday the pow-wow resumed with the same results: no confession, everyone to their rooms for the day - or until one of them came to confess and apologize.

During the afternoon, two of the kids came to me to ask what would happen if someone took the blame for everyone, if one of them confessed even though he or she were not the guilty party. An interesting proposition that lent itself to a discussion about Jesus' act of love for us in taking on our sin, and a realization that if this choice were made an innocent sibling would be punished.

Since this was not the result for which they were hoping - the kids seemed to think that an innocent person taking the rap should be off the hook and no one would serve a consequence - those two returned to their rooms.

With a quiet house and some time to investigate, I was able to conclusively discern who the guilty party was. After releasing the other five from their bedrooms and thanking them for their patience, I went to the room of the sixth child and explained that we knew the truth. Fully expecting a tearful confession and not getting one, but rather a tearful defense, we moved onto the punishment which was a grounding to the bedroom for two additional days (since the siblings had spent two days in their rooms needlessly) and a week of performing each brother's and sister's daily chores (setting the table, clearning the table...) in return for the trouble that had been caused for them.

As far as making restitution for the item that was used - and here's where it gets kind of funny - it belonged to the child who took it. And this same child was the one that brought the issue to our attention in the first place.

Apparently the thinking went something like this: I know what I did was wrong, so I'll make it seem like someone else did it, and if I'm the one who brings it up and I'm the victim, I won't be suspected.

Honestly... my kids!